TV & Gum Are Awesome

Damon and his fake ‘n’ bake say goodbye. (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! So.much.YES.

Spoilers! SPOILERRRRRRRRRRRRRS! Spoilers! SPOILERY SPLENDID SPOILERS! Proceed at your own risk…

OMGGGGGGGGGG! E’erybody was predicting that Elena would make the changeee early on (way back when the series was starting), but it’s been so off the radar as of late that it’s like we all forgot. Then last night’s finale happened! Can you say “game-changer”? O.M.G. What else is there even to SAY?

It’s no secret that the details on TVD have gotten confusing as of late. It’s messy, this life with vampires and werewolves and witches, friends! Klaus was captured, but not before he could switch bodies with Tyler (right?), so now Tyler is gone (mega-frowns), and Klaus lives on. And because Klaus lives on, NONE of those that he made into vampires are dead — and that’s GOOD because we’re still pretty sure that Stefan and Damon both fall into that category.

Nobody but Bonnie knows that it wasn’t Klaus who died in that coffin, which means there were SO MANY SAD MAYBE-GOODBYES in the mix here. The most heartbreaking? Obvssss Elena’s to Damon. Elena finally told Damon that it was Stefan who had her heart, and that maybe if they’d met first things would be different. CUT TO: Damon’s memory conjuring a long-ago chat with a pre-vampire obsession Elena. The two shared a cute little convo (heavy on the chemistry, too!), before Damon compelled Elena to forget. Which means… Survey sayyys: DAMON *DID* MEET ELENA FIRST. And that makes him want to die. I mean it doesn’t! It actually inspires him to fight off Alaric! And he’s winning! But… DUN DUN DUNNNNNN, he’s only winning because Alaric is dying! AND ALARIC IS ONLY DYING BECAUSE ELENA IS.

Ready for the plot twist? C’mon, you know it. E-Girl would be hella dead, except that Paul Wesley’s Wife (Name? There are too many characters, guys!) helped Elena through her little bump on the head — which turned out to be bleeding on the brain — by…

TURNING HER INTO AN EM-EFFING VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elena is finally a vampire! ALL THAT’S LEFT TO SAY IS, LET THE GAAAMES BEGIN!

Final thought: Yeah, also… Poor Tyler! Poor Rebekah. Oh, and poor Alaric. Man, this show…

Aww, leave him alone, Klaus, he’s havin’ a bad day. (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

Guyyyys, I still felt totally bad for Bad Stefan! I hate his sad face! It’s so defeated and awful. Damon is great and all — the tension between he and Elena is DYNAMITE, I know it! And that line “We kissed, now it’s weird” was sooo great — but when Stefan is Stefan he is just so damn sweet and lovely. I miss that. I know it might be “gone,” but I don’t buy it. I HAVEN’T LOST HOPE IN HIS GOODNESS. Or something. Stefan Salvatore is no baddie, guys. He’s gonna end up back on the good side eventually. I mean, he arguably IS sorta… just not very good at showing it! Or something. And when he IS back, the battle for Elena will be in full swing…

Also a bummer? Bonnie’s mama-drama. I wish Grams was still around. She was so handy, and loving. Bonnie deserves better than this meanie mom who split. I hope she doesn’t end up HURTING Bonnie more…

Why is Alaric movin’ on from Jenna so fast? And in the home he shares with her niece and nephew? I mean — that ain’t real classy. Plus, can’t he see that this doctor lady is hella sketch?! It’s obvious to alllllll of us. I thought Alaric was supposed to know his bad guys!

(Why is TVD taking next week off?! Booooooooo!)

Final thought: Tell me where you’re at on this, since I can’t fully decide. DAMON OR STEFAN?

For someone who’s NOT STEFAN, yr lookin’ a little like New (Old) Stefan to us… (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

Gahhhh, sometimes The Vampire Diaries kicks its reviewers in the butt at the end of the episode by showing a PREVIEW FOR NEXT WEEK that nearly eclipses allllll excitement that they just drummed up in the last hour! For viewers, great! For this little lady… bummmmmmmer!

Seriously, what even happened this week? Ehhhh, Stefan and Rebekah had a moment of seeming-lust before both realized the ship had long-ago sailed on their love for one anotherrr. Caroline made Elena address her feelings for Damon (which was, I’d argue, the best moment of the night) and Elena basically… dodged it. And, BONNIE’S BACK! And Jeremy confided his secret “skill” to her and she accidentally told… Katherine! That tricky Katherine…

AND THEN?

In the last few moments, Klaus welcomed Stefan back to Mystic Falls (OMG, did you see the COFFINS?!) and in the preview for NEXT WEEK Stefan is being forced to…. GULP (x10000)… FEED ON ELENA? OMFGGGGG! Say it ain’t so! You scared us enough with the momentary kiss-lapse with Rebekah! Not our favorite lovebiiiiiiirds!

Sweet lawwwwd, I can’t handle it. What’s gonna happen? Klaus OBVIOUSLY finds out that Elena’s still around and he OBVIOUSLY is torturing Stefan (is it for that whole “I already wanna blow my brains out” line, because Stef… that was harsh!). But what happens next? DAMON TO THE RESCUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE???

Final thought: Oh, come on Delena fans… you know you’d love it. But really… how’s TVD getting out of THIS mess?

Yeahhh, gonna be a lot of THIS in season 3, methinks. (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” That’s what I said as that whooooole mess with Stefan and Klaus began! It makes sense for those that have been hoping for ELENA AND DAMON to happen… get the good guy out of the way and have him leave his lady in the hands of his newly-revived (maybe re-invented) brother, so that his TRUE feelings for her (and hers for him!) can be seen!

BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE OF US WHO WERE JUST FINE WITH ELENA AND STEFAN?!?!

Okay, one of those is ME. I loooooved Stefan, man! I should say, I loooooove him! What I don’t love is his face smeared in (human) blood, his eyes wild with the THIRRRRST!!! Ugh. Ughhhh, no good will come of this. Frown.

At least Jer-Bear didn’t die. That wouldn’t have been fair. And it was cute that Bonnie was able to save the day, because, let’s face it, Bonnie’s witch skillz haven’t really been pulling their weight as of late (not to mention giving her some serious blood loss…). Jeremy dying WOULD have helped put Caroline’s dumb-ass mother away and out of my hair though, amiright? Oh yeah, Caroline and her mom made amends, yada yada whatever… I can’t stand that mother and her bad haircut (okay, the truth comes out… I hate her hair the most!).

Damon and Elena have feelings for each other, not super groundbreaking. Sow your wild oats, youngins (“youngins,” HA!). Stefan will return in the end, I think. I JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN THE END WILL BE… or how sad it will make me to watch him in the meantime. Honestly, if Stef is gonna be evil and a Klaus minion, let’s just send him away for awhile and not watch that go down. Does ANYONE want to see a meanie Stefan? I know I don’t… FROWN.

Let’s end this on those moments that closed the episode. JEREMY, WHAT? What was that? Are we adding a new supernatural element into the mix? I THINK SO! Jeremy can see dead people! Or, Jeremy can see dead VAMPIRES! Regular vampires can’t see dead vampires… so WHAT IS HE!? Poor Jeremy has really taken the hits since his stupid sister fell for a bunch of vampires. Short end of the stick, indeed.

Final thought: After a really whacky season, I must say I’m not very pleased with this finale. It makes me BUMMED for next season, when it SHOULD have me STOKED, right? Maybe it’s because I love Stefan too much… but I also think the anticipation of Klaus was better than the actual arrival of Klaus. Klaus is sort of this ULTIMATE VILLIAN that I’m not sure I can handle on a weekly basis. What did you think of the finale? And what predictions do you have for next season?

I have nothing funny to say. Jenna dying(/”dying”?) was sad… (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

I managed to get three weeks behind on The Vampire Diaries and so, as you can imagine, I’m now a wee bit overwhelmed. A lot happens every single week of this show, and trying to catch up on three at a time, well… damn. It’s a good thing I’m so invested in this show at this point, because otherwise I might be runnin’ for the hills with all this madness!

Who hasn’t been in the line of fire in the last few weeks? Certainly not Elena, Matt, Caroline or Tyler. Not Bonnie, nor Alaric. Not even Stefan or Damon! We’ve (SPOILER ALERT) lost Jenna!! Who is next??? It’s gettin’ scary in Mystic Falls, guys! The innocent people are even in danger! Who’d have guessed that the least-interesting-yet-so-immersed-in-the-STORY character of JENNA was at risk? Oh man. AND DAMON! Damon is on the verge of death! And we already saw Rose meet this werewolf-bite fate… so what are we to think!? Surely something will work out for him (whether this season… or nextttttt).

Elena was on the verge of being a vampire and the scene between her and Stefan on top of the waterfall/hill was really great. She tearfully confessed that she doesn’t want to be vampire, and in doing so (don’t kill me Twihards) totally out-thought and out-emoted Bella Swan (and Nina Dobrev TOTALLY out-ACTED Kristen Stewart in ANY Twilight scene… in that scene, anyway). That scene brought a sense of reality to this totally crazy show. SOMEONE sees this for what it is… madness. Elena deals with ALL of this with grace and love, but at the end of the day, she realizes that this life is making things a lot harder for everyone.

Last week’s episode did feel a little like a season finale, so I’ll be curious to see what they do tonight. From the previews, I know this: Damon’s on the brink of vampire-death, Bonnie’s nose is bleeding/she’s serious witch-ing out and the sheriff is going to draw her gun. TELL ME MORE!

Final thought: Who else thinks Caroline’s mom needs to take one in the chest? I don’t mean to be a jerkwad but…

Just schemin’. No big. (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

I think Jeremy has become my favorite character on this show. Forget your smoldering Salvatore brothers, your bubbly, blonde sidekicks, etc., etc. I think Jer is just perfect lately. In many ways, Jeremy has become our eyes and ears on the situation. He was exposed to the truth before many, has been rocked by the deaths/transformations/general craziness, and he processes it in bursts, like we do. He processes it because he has to, because it allllll just keeeeeeps on goingggggg. The scene this week with Jeremy in the house with Bonnie when she was summoning the spirits/powers of the dead witches was a perfect example. You could tell he was both totally freaked out, but also dedicated to the task at hand. He’s like us; he’s scratching his head, but he’s also rollin’ with the punches. I love it. He’s turned into a great character (after some serious development). His relationship with Bonnie is also fantastic, and I hope it gets time to develop fully.

This week crazy-mama Isobel was the center of things. She was compelled by Klaus to return to Mystic Falls (and try to gain Elena’s trust? what was that moment with the safe house idea?), then kidnap Elena and deliver Katherine to Klaus so he can… proceed with whatever plans he has. Once delivered, Isobel was told she was done with her task and was free to do whatever… which meant freeing Elena (I’m still not sure why they didn’t just keep her around, once they had her??), and setting herself on fire (after removing her magic necklace, you know), but not before telling Elena how much she wished she’d been able to meet ALL of her, not post-vampire transformation her. Pretty sad. But only for a moment before she burst into flames, of course.

THEN KLAUS RESURFACED IN THE BODY OF ALARIC. Did we already know that Klaus could take over the bodies of others? Does this mean Alaric is dead and gone forever? I DON’T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT! And poor Jenna, oh man she’s gonna be really bummed out. I loved Alaric’s line right before he was hurt by the bad dude, when he said to Isobel, “Whatever jacked-up, vampire amends you’re trying to make with me, just let it go.” So awesome.

The scenes between Jeremy, Bonnie and Damon were MAGIC. I love the rapport between Damon and Bonnie, that love-hate thing is so great. And Jeremy stumbling along and jumpy with them asking the dumb questions, also great.

Final thought: Sometimes when I watch this show, I feel like it’s impossible to keep track of all the details and when I try to recap it in my brain I’m not even sure I process everything that happened! I NEED A REFRESHER COURSE SOMETIME. Maybe instead of commercial breaks, the show should have a “Here’s What Just Happened and How it Ties Back to the Story” session?? :)

I just hope they don’t judge us for how uninteresting we are together! (Photo courtesy cwtv.com)

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES
The CW | Thursday | 8:00 p.m.

Katherine returned to life-outside-the-tomb last night and brought the action back to liiiiiiiife. Love it! Katherine and Damon’s dynamic is the best thing everrrr on this show and their scenes last night were super amusing, particularly that one at the end in the bed when he shoved her away. Oh, Damon, I love you more and more with each week that passes!

Elsewhere in Mystic Falls…

Resident warlocks Jonas and Luka are distressed over Elijah being dead, so they stage something MAGICAL/WARLOCKIAN wherein Luka is transported (invisibly, naturally) to the Salvatore house to find Elijah’s body and pull the stake out of his heart. Katherine sees it happening, tries to fight back, Luka breaks a chair and gets her in the gut before… DAMON AND HIS BLOW TORCH kill Luka (seriously, that was harsh, Luka is really just an innocent bystander in his dad’s games! GEEZ!).

Jonas is pisssssed and goes after Elena, and by “going after Elena” I mean “trying to kill a bazillion innocent people at the Mystic Grill.” Mostly though, as it would seem logical (him being a main-player and all), JUST MATT. Jonas bites Matt in the neck and Caroline has to give him her blood (is it just me or is that part of vampire-healing sort of SICK?), and then DUN DUN DUNNNN Matt finds out that Caroline is a vampire. These two just can’t quite get it together!

Bonnie makes out with Jeremy a bunch, and then gets her powers restored when… JONAS ends up at Elena’s and attacks her, but really it’s KATHERINE and she KILLS him, but not before he GRABS BONNIE and gives her his powers (and vendetta to kill Klaus). WHOA.

Last but not least: ISOBEL RETURNSSSSSSSSSSSS at Jenna’s doorstep.

Final thought: And, I’m sorry, but while we’re on the subject of Jenna… I want to love her but I can’t stand her. Maybe that’s harsh, but her story with Alaric is just not interesting. And it’s making Alaric less interesting, and generally speaking I don’t mind having him around. What do you think?