Everyone put on their most uncomfortableee face. (Photo courtesy CBS)
CBS | Wednesday | 9:00 p.m.
Ughhh, I was afraid this was gonna happen. Ol’ Extant has gone into full-on alien-baby/substance/virus/whatever-the-hell mode and things are getting craaazy, and I’m sitting on my couch absentmindedly losing my focus and then like “whaaaaaa?” AND FOR TWO HOURS. I mean„ I think I’m still on the right track — alien-baby-whatever is in a tank in the basement, old-man bad-guy is being affected by its poooowers in that he’s seeing his dead daughter around, while young-man bad-guy-who-is-really-good(-maybe) is helping Molly and The White Knight Guy from Sex & The City figure out DOUBLE U TEE EFF is happening. And Molly wants to hang with alien-beebs to see what he WANTS FROM HER. And also that billionaire guy is dying and needs whatever the Aruna ship was supposed to get from space but couldn’t… And there are little circle designs EVERYWHERE.
I MEAN IT’S REALLY QUITE SIMPLE.
Thing is, though… that preview for next week. Like, the alien-substance has the ability to bring people back from the D-E-A-D? I dunno, guys. I dunno cuz that just seems kinda hokey-lame, and also because I don’t want Marcus to ruin Molly and John’s relaysh.
SEE, for us non-geeks, this show is really about FAMILY AND PALS (just like Molly says during the intro voice over every week — THIS IS A STORY ABOUT FAMILY!). And Molly and John? John is like the greatest. Poor dude is dealing with SO MUCH RIGHT NOW. The robot-kid he created has somehow locked him out of his programming, and all the while his wife is running off to sacrifice herself in the name of communicating with a life-form planted in her by mad scientists WHILE IN SPACE (or whatever, I forget how that actually went down…). John is like a RIDICULOUSLY supportive partner. Like, he needs to be less supportive. Homeboy needs to sometimes be like “I’M STRESSED.” You see it on his face, but omggg, he just is forever rolling with the punches and being friendly about it. (He’s a treat, really, but whoa! I’m tired just thinking about his elevated heart rate.)
AND THAT ROBOT KID? I love Ethan. In fact, I’m pretty sure Ethan is, at this point, 85% of the reason I’m still watching the show. I am, basically, prepared to beat that Odin guy DOWN TO THE GROUND if he hurts a fake-hair on this little robot’s head. HOWEVER. Ethan is getting creepy as fuuuuuuu. When little dude eyed that robot in the garage that they brought home from the park? I *actually* yelled in my apartment living room, “HE’S BUILDING AN ARMY, GUYS!” Sadly, these fools aren’t gonna pay attention until it’s too late… and maybe that’s great, cuz poor lil’ Ethan is gonna NEED that army once he has to deal with this accent-y bloke dating his dad’s co-worker, riiiiight?
ALL HAIL ETHAN! (Except not, cuz yikes.)
Final thought: Are you still watching Extant? Are you similarly concerned that it’s going down a… certain… like… questionable path about alien viruses and bringing people back from the dead and… like… maybe gonna end up stupid? And, can we talk about these painfully long two-hour episode blocks?