TV & Gum Are Awesome

And it ain’t gettin’ any better… (Photo courtesy abc.com)

GREY’S ANATOMY
ABC | Thursday | 9:00 p.m.

As you know, my lil’ reunion with Grey’s Anatomy started to fade out at the beginning of this season, and basically ended a few months back. I had to face facts, man — my outlook on life just didn’t jive with these sad macks! (V-Mars reference! Mac! Tina Majorino! MINDBLOW!) So, I said goodbye. But… since Glee went off last week, and there is NOTHING as craaazy as a Grey’s Anatomy finale… Here I am… (And now we can chat about it!)

***Spoiler Line: Do Not Cross***

In short — that bus wasn’t the only thing explodin’ in this ep, amirite?

Let’s start with April’s relaysh with Hunky Paramedic! Somebody call a crash cart! (Oh gawd, I know. Sorry.) When Jackson found himself on the receiving end of a close call, April found herself unable to even DEAL! Girl went into hysterics! What do you do when you realize who the man that you love is when you’re wearing the rock of the dude that you’re engaged to? Oh girl… That’s a tough one. (Pssst — Hot Avery wins every time. Durrr.)

Let’s talk about Alex and Jo. Or, not. (Zzzzzz.)

Let’s talk about Callie and Arizona! What the! I get that there’s an arc still happening re: the plane crash, but doesn’t it feel like in fake-out TV-land that we should be allowed to have moved on from this? I mean, Meredith has since grown a baby in her womb! Cristina got over her wackadoodleness by hanging out with Mr. Feeny! In the real world, of COURSE, I’d expect someone to have residual hardship after this kind of trauma… but this isn’t the real world! And in the not-real world, I need things to happen quicker. Because now I kinda hate Arizona — and I didn’t want that! Are they over? (I kinda hope so — is that wrong?)

BUT THEN WE GOTTA TALK ABOUT THAT BABY! Wait, that storyline was fine. No cliffhanger there.

BUT THE CLIFFHANGER… Webber. All I gotta say is… FROWN. How will this affect Bailey? Will she take the lead he may or may not be leaving behind? (Is he okay?) 

(Oh, I forgot to talk about Cristina and Owen? THOSE TWO HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS.)

Final thought: Sooo… weigh-in GA fans! Whaddya think?

Do I *look* like I’m having a good time? (Photo courtesy foxcom)

NEW GIRL
FOX | Tuesday | 9:00 p.m.

NOW THIS WAS SATISFYING. Right? This New Girl finale just satisfied on e’ery level — Nick + Jess still happening, Cece’s marriage NOT happening, and Winston just.plain.awesome.

Cuz, seriously? Freakin’ Winston, man! Dude was so awesome! This is the most underrated and under-appreciated character of the mix, here. And, WHY? Why doesn’t Winston get real storylines? I know this gets written about ad nauseum — but there’s a reason… THE DUDE IS AWESOME. And Lamorne Morris is SO PREPARED. You need no further proof than an episode like this one, in which Winston is scheming and plotting — duct taping electronics so that they can’t be adjusted, crawling through air ducts, getting bit by a badger — but also keeping things hella real (yo) — like, you know, when he sat with Nick and told him to grow a pair. WINSTON KINDA TOTALLY RULES. Resolution for next year: GIVE THIS GUY A FRIGGIN’ SHOT ALREADY.

Somebody else who needs more than a lil’ shot? Elizabeth! If next season is all 100% all-day, every-day Schmidt and Cece, I’m going to be mega-bummed. Surely Schmidt will make the smart choice and stick with E, right? I’m late to the New Girl party, I know, so I missed out on actual, dating Schmidt and Cece… but… it’s Cece. Elizabeth is spunky and smart and awesome! I say go Elizabeth! (Who’s with me? How do you feel here?)

THENNN, JESS AND NICK. Eff the hatahs, I’m into this. And I’m PARTICULARLY into it when it involves a John Hughes-esque ending. That was pretty magical (even if it was a little cornball — just shhh, you!)

Final thought: Predictions for next season? Thoughts on the finale?

STRIDE FEARLESS FRUIT

I don’t want to get all dramatic on you in my first gum post in what feels like forevsies but… here goes. This gum is QUITE possibly the WORST gum I’ve encountered since starting this blog. OR MAYBE, EVER, PERIOD. It’s AWFUL. Truly terrible. Unmistakably mediocre. Absolutely atrocious. Ridiculously revolting. IN A WORD: BLAH. LIKE, WHOAAAA, BLAH.

It’s bad.

Not only is the taste the most muddled, indiscernible mess of “fruit” flavors (and by “fruit,” here, I mean fake-y, gross fruit flavor, rather than the real dealio) that’s happened to gum in a really long time — and you KNOW I hate my muddled fruit-flavored gums! — but the packaging is just laughable. For some reason, Stride decided to market this “Fearless Fruit” flavor with TATTOO-THEMED ARTWORK. You heard me! YES, TATTOOS! Inside the pack there are black and white tattoo-esque sketches, along with the phrase “SHOW YOUR INK.” Because, that’s cool. WHAT. No. All the NOs in the world.

Oh, Stride. What happened here?

Flavor Strength: 7
Comments: But what IS the flavor?

Flavor Endurance: 4? 5?
Comments: I didn’t make it that long.

Final thought: Image issues aside, it really is awful gum.

It may be unhealthy to ‘ship something so hard. (Photo courtesy fox.com)

GLEE
FOX | Thursday | 9:00 p.m.

Don’t jump all over me, here, Gleeks… but that felt a little… anti-climactic? I mean — I *knew* Rachel was going to her second audition. And I *knew* that Blaine was maybe gonna propose to Kurt. And I also knew that they were gonna dominate Regionals (okay, I didn’t know… but I knew), and had a mega-feel that Unique was the other half of Ryder’s txt exchange with “Katie.” You know what I mean? So, the biggest surprise was that Brittany made it into MIT? And Wemma finally got married? Ehhh, I wanted to be SHOCKED, yo!

Let’s hang on that Brittany thing for a minute — and by “hang” I mean, ponder the fact that of all the ridiculous things that Glee has brought us over the past four seasons, THIS might be the most ridic. I mean, what? Brittany’s brain has some string of numbers in it but she can’t perform basic math functions? Okay… (Don’t hate me because I never fell for Brittany!) At least her goodbyes to everyone were sweet…

Favorite part of the episode, though? Wait for it… it’s Blaine-related. (Now *there’s* a shock, I KNOW!) But srsly, that scene with Blaine and Kurt, hangin’ with Patty Duke and Meredith Baxter! I mean, how awesome was that? I feel like week to week the genius of Ryan Murphy isn’t really on full display these days — and then something amazing like that shows up and you’re all… ahhhhh yeahhhh. Bravo, dude.

The Wemma wedding was cute. I liked it. What I didn’t like? Ryder freaking out on Unique! We teach tolerance and awesomeness in THIS glee club, dude! Lighten up. I mean, I get it. He’s a teenage boy, and so sharing something with a BOY when you thought it was a GIRL when you’re already feeling vulnerable is SCARY and feels like it MEANS SOMETHING. But c’mon, Ryder! It’s Unique! Just be cool, bro.

And then there’s Rachel. Aside from the fact that this storyline is ALL KINDS OF NOT REAL… I want this to happen. How great would the arc be next season? (Wait, a little too Smash-y? Hmmm…)

Final thought: As much as I love Klaine, I can’t help but wonder why they are bothering with the maybe-engagement storyline? Where do you think THAT will pick up next season? And what are your OTHER predictions for next season?

Jinkx, we love you. (Photo courtesy logotv.com)

RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE
LOGO | Monday | 9:00 p.m.

Oh, man. A reality TV show totally made me cry tonight. (!!!!) Pretty sure that’s the first time that’s happened. Pretty sure I’m not really ashamed of it…? (Pretty sure…)

Thing is, I totally leapt to my feet when Jinkx’s name was called, and when I sat back down, the tears just started rollin’. Jinkx has talent on a different level than the other gals, and I think that’s what it came down to here. Sure, I fell for Alaska’s goofy, nasally voice and facial expressions (and I would have gladly seen her win — her short, pink-haired look tonight was AWESOME), and I got caught up in the drama of Alyssa Edwards (and her non-existent chin — omg, THAT JOKE? Amaze), the amazing sewin’ and design skills of Ivy Winters, and on and on… But LARGE SCALE, BIG TALENT? Jinkx always had the one-up. 

It’s the thing I said in my first post about Drag Race — Jinkx was always bringing something different to the table. There were a lot of gorgeous gals in this Race, and many of them much more gorrrrgeous and faaaabulous than lil’ Jinkx. But Jinkx has STAR quality (much like her counterpart Jerick Hoffer, ahem). While Roxxxy was worried about getting her make-up and dress just right, Jinkx was perfecting a character that she was about to take the stage as. Jinkx is performance art, from an exceptionally talented young actor.

You think I’m going over the top? You think Alaska got ROBBED? Fair enough, fanboy, but… I think RuPaul may be on my side. There was somethin’ in Jinkx that kept her around through all the wacky runway looks, only landing in the bottom two on ONE occasion. Star quality, yo. STAR QUALITY.

The other thing? I think it’s kinda awesome that someone with this much talent, and these big o’ aspirations has made it to this level of the national stage. I know, I know, it’s just Drag Race — but Jerick and Jinkx are both just getting started. Dude’s done Spring Awakening, RENT, Hedwig, and now won Drag Race? It’s been a good 1.5 years. 1.5 more from now… I’ll be bookin’ my flight for his Broadway debut… (Have I mentioned I’m more than a little relieved that my obsession with this dude for the past year and a half now feels totally justified? APHEW.)

Celebrate Jinkx’s victory by watching and re-watching her rendition of “I Dreamed A Dream” as Little Edie, her take on Mrs. Lovett’s “The Worst Pies in London,” doin’ “All That Jazz,” And there are so many more, guys. Post ‘em in the comments. STAR QUALITY. (You may also enjoy THIS.)

Final thought: Congratulations x10000000 to Jinkx! (Now what?)

THROWBACK THURSDAY, ANYONE? LE SIGH.

(via quinnberri)

mother-balls:

I feel like there’re two types of people in this world, Rossi. The ones that get over their grief and move on, and the ones that descend into some sort of endless misery.

└ Alchemy 8x20 Criminal Minds

BUMMERIFIC.

onlystarintheuniverse:

After this previous episode of New Girl….at the end with Nick and Jess….I will never be able to listen to Ellie Goulding’s song ‘Anything could happen’ the same way….ever again

No more sad faces! Me no handle no more! (Photo courtesy cbs.com)

CRIMINAL MINDS
CBS | Wednesday | 9:00 p.m.

Spencer friggin’ Reid. Dude breaks my heart. I don’t even have anything to say about the show this week — something about drugs and babies and creepy old guy? But then… SPENCER. Spencer made me SO SAD.

How bummerific was the scene at the end with him and his dead lady-pal, dancing and being flirty and adorable together? How bummerific was his chat with Rossi about how he thinks some people grieve and get over it and some people are TOTALLY EFFED FOR FOREVER? How bummerific is his SAD LITTLE FACE?

I need some sign that things are gonna turn around for my pal, here. (If that’s what the dancing scene was supposed to be, I FELT NOTHING.) I want Spencer to be happy, in his goofy little Spencer way. I think the dude deserves a little SOMETHING, here, GUYS! He’s so cute! And odd! And he was so happy there for like two seconds! HE NEEDS THIS/SOMETHING. I want it! You want it! Let’s make it happen! OKAYYYY!

Final thought: Plz?

Oh, Nick Miller. I don’t even care that you were once THIS. (Photo courtesy fox.com)

NEW GIRL
FOX | Tuesday | 9:00 p.m.

Curse that terrible music, but daaaaamn — anything really CAN happen! And did! And ohhhh, aren’t we so happy!

Tonight’s episode had the whole gang reminiscin’ about their first times (in the boudoir — or the hotel room, dorm room… or playground castle), and whaddya know, it made a coupla no-nonsensers out of normally-totally-nonsensical Jess and Nick! Nick take charge! Nick pick Jess up! Nick kiss Jess! OH MAN. Guys, they did it. It happened. And it was awesome. And if next week this silly lil’ show tries to back-peddle and TAKE THAT BACK AND AWAY FROM ME?! I will pitch a fit. I will write letters to the execs at FOX! I will storm around the apartment like a cray person! I WILL NOT LET IT GO. Because… JUST LET IT BE, WRITERS. LET THE FLOWER BLOSSOM! (Virgin joke!)

But seriously, I didn’t realize how satisfying this was going to be until it just went ahead and happened. And it wasn’t a big ordeal of a terrible date (like a couple weeks ago), and it wasn’t because of a “Dead Dad Pass” (who else was afraid that was coming?). It just… was. (AND IT WAS FREAKIN’ AWESOME.)

So, we’ve got, what? Two episodes left? Will they let us ride out the glory of Nick and Jess? Or take it away from us and create a cliffhanger? OR, will our season end on a totally unrelated cliffhanger? SAYYYY, Cece’s wedding might be ruined because she’s still in love with Schmidt? JUST SAYIN’.

Final thought: I mean, Cece can’t just get MARRIED, can she? Who else kinda likes Schmidt with Elizabeth though? Okay… Whaddya got for predictions, folks?

• Question: The only thing I could think of with the death of Agent Parker was, "Wow. You tried so hard to revive her there. All three seconds of CPR." - deistbrawler
• Answer:

  Fair enough. But, it’s TV, man! If a character is dead and someone has decided they are dead, they are dead. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYIN’!? Either way, I didn’t really want Agent Parker to go down like that. That was pretty brutal. (And can we talk about TV’s beef with Annie Parisse?! Yeesh. Poor girl.)

The Following → 1x15 → Mike & Ryan Emotions

strawberry-fishcake:

Me:

Sorry, dude. ‘s all on you, now. (Photo courtesy fox.com)

THE FOLLOWING
FOX | Monday | 9:00 p.m.

Wellllllllllllllllllllllllll now. This should go without saying, but read no further if you have yet to watch the season finale of The Following.

We’ll give you a second to clear out…

Gone? Okay. Now.

NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…

The rest of you. WHAT! I mean, everything played out pretty predictably until the very end… which I guess to some extent it kind of had to. Joe had to go bye-bye, Claire and Ryan had to have their momentary happy ending, and then ALL HELLZ HAD TO BREAK LOOSE AGAIN. But, whoa. I kinda forgot about that crazy lady. I guess everyone had. (Maybe not Mike…?) I kinda forgot about Emma, even. (Though having Emma pegged as the psychopath o’ next season has never felt like TOO much of a stretch, amirite?) But BOTH Ryan AND Claire?! Yowz. Didn’t know it was gonna happen…

Whattabout poor lil’ Joey? I think one of them will survive… And something tells me it’ll be world-weary, broken-down Ryan Hardy. (Unless they toss the baton to Mike? Hmm!)

OVERALL ASSESSMENTS: 

Was anyone else kinda-sorta disappointed that neither Mike nor Parker ended up being one of the followers? Were they just suspicious for the sake of making me WONDER?! Ah man! (Fooled!)

Was anyone else kinda-sorta bummed that Joe just got to blow up in a fire?

Was anyone else totes bummed about Agent Parker, even though they didn’t realize that they cared about her at ALL and actually sorta always thought she was a baddie? (OMG I KNOW RIGHT?)

Anyway, solid show, man. Kept me guessin’! And kept me tunin’ in! And… I’ll totes be back next season. (Can’t say the same for you, DECEPTION. Fo’ shame.)

Final thought: Who’s excited at the possibility of what crazy shenanigans Emma could get up to in a next season? And, uhhh, weigh-in! What’d you think of this crazy finale?

fillmoresf:

Join us! Tickets on sale this Saturday at 10 a.m.

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Yes, plz.